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| | Prologue | |
| Author | Message |
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Chief-Oblivion Bronze Member


Posts : 116 Join date : 2009-10-08 Age : 24 Location : Behind You
 | Subject: Prologue Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:38 pm | |
| I got bored one day... So I began working on a Story... It won't be a 700 page epic masterpiece but as a "sneak peak" I will post a prologue here.
- Spoiler:
-
It was very cold that night, as he walked up to the house he shivered slightly. The dirt felt rough on his bare feet as he trailed across the yard. He slowly approaches the door being as silent as he can. He grasps the knocker in his shivering fingers and lightly taps it against the door a few times. He lets the knocker go and swiftly reaches into his pocket; he lifts a small silver blade from the pocket and holds it firmly in hand. The night was so silent, as if the world were stopped as time slowly passes the boy is on edge, finally; the door opens.
A small old man appears at the opening greeting the boy and inviting him into the home. He just stands there, staring at the little man. After a few moments he walks into the home. Waiting for the old man to recede into the home as well, he pockets the knife. The old man motions for the boy to follow him. They walk down a rather long hallway until finally it opens into a small lounge. He offers the boy a seat. The boy sits down without a word. The old man sits down across from him. “So what brings you here at this hour?” He says.
A tear trickles down the boys’ cheek as he tries to speak. “H- He sent me… To-“ he was cut off by his tears. He quickly got a hold of himself hoping the man didn’t see him cry. The boy begins to speak again, “He sent me here… To kill you.” The old man’s expression changed to a concerned look. “You are still in contact with him?” the man said. The boy nods wearily as another tear comes trickling off his cheek. “I must do what he says.” He says in earnest.
He slowly tries to get the knife from his pocket. The old man notices his attempt to reach into his pocket. The old man lunges at the boy tipping his chair over. He tries to wrestle the boys’ arms to the ground but he seems to easily throw the man off. He quickly grabs the knife from his pocket and holds it to the man’s neck. “Why?” he asks, “Because I have to” says the boy. The man struggled to get the boy away from him. The boy pressed the knife slowly into his neck until the struggle stopped. He sits there for a moment, just staring at the man. After a few moments he stood up and left the house despondently.
Hertis quickly wakes up in a cold sweat.
(By the way, I would REALLY suggest fixing it so the spoiler text color is black and not silver... It blends in with the spoiler, I had to manual change it.) |
|  | | Champ Slice The Boss


Posts : 974 Join date : 2009-06-12
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:05 pm | |
| Nice story, when we get back on track we will has some story contests. _________________   |
|  | | Chief-Oblivion Bronze Member


Posts : 116 Join date : 2009-10-08 Age : 24 Location : Behind You
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:09 pm | |
| (By the way, I am lying... I actually haven't continued on that at all, I got bored one day so I wrote that up. I have been planning on working more on it eventually but I am lazy.  |
|  | | Champ Slice The Boss


Posts : 974 Join date : 2009-06-12
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:29 pm | |
| Yea, I do that all the time. I know how you feel. _________________   |
|  | | Shiki Keeper of the Peace


Posts : 142 Join date : 2009-06-20 Age : 23
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:50 pm | |
| another story writer here, well LETS READ
~~~~AFTER READING~~~~ i wish there were more, it interests me, i really want to know who "him" is. |
|  | | Champ Slice The Boss


Posts : 974 Join date : 2009-06-12
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:52 pm | |
| The Devil.... _________________   |
|  | | Shiki Keeper of the Peace


Posts : 142 Join date : 2009-06-20 Age : 23
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:56 pm | |
| wow, that is odd, i did not get this impression from the text... OR I JUST MISSED IT, but thanks for the clarification |
|  | | Chief-Oblivion Bronze Member


Posts : 116 Join date : 2009-10-08 Age : 24 Location : Behind You
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:00 pm | |
| I was honestly not thinking of adding the "devil" into it at all... It is not supposed to be a very "religious" thing. It is set in the old days, supposed to be a mythic kind of thing. |
|  | | Champ Slice The Boss


Posts : 974 Join date : 2009-06-12
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:07 pm | |
| Well, reading the whole...
He told me to kill, and he was crying meaning it was forced, and the devil forces people to do things.
Just a theory. _________________   |
|  | | Chief-Oblivion Bronze Member


Posts : 116 Join date : 2009-10-08 Age : 24 Location : Behind You
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:12 pm | |
| That is a simple suspenseful notion. It is meant to make you think about it... I just to add to the mystery. In all honesty I don't even know who "he" is yet. I like just writing as I go rather than creating a storyboard. Then it makes it like I am reading the book rather than writing it and I don't lose interest as fast. (that worked well.) But I never like how books/movies with satan or something like that turn out. Of course there will be religion in it due to the fact that in the medieval days it was a huge part of life. But I am not basing it off of it.  |
|  | | EmperorZen Co-Leader


Posts : 501 Join date : 2009-06-29 Age : 25 Location : California, The Good 'ol U.S. of A
 | Subject: Re: Prologue Thu May 27, 2010 8:22 pm | |
| I wish you would come back and complete your goddamn story.
Hertis woke up in a cold sweat, and then WHAT?
Did he get shot by some robber that's gonna rob his house? Is he gonna find some dead girl next to him? Is he gonna find some crazy gym teacher under his sheets doing inapproriate things to him?
WHAT? I say we complete his story or somefin....
Oh, and I responded to this dead thread because I wanted "EmperorZen" to be listed as the last post for ever forum section. _________________ I'm a gun-owning, car fixing, game-playing, baseball-playing, liberal-agenda opposing, nationalistic, conservatist Buddhist Republican. And if you have any problems with that, you can step to my house and present your argument.
"Thousands of candles can be lighted by one candle, and yet the life of that candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. " -Buddha
"You need a million dollar-worth machine to make a penny-worth penny." -Douglas Leon
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